


The Stakeout

by too_many_aspirations



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Detective AU, Fluff, M/M, alternate au, enemies who are actually idiots to lovers, kissing described through passionate words, minor portrayals of gun usage and police work, sad attempt at portraying sexual tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:27:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29958186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/too_many_aspirations/pseuds/too_many_aspirations
Summary: Two detectives on a stakeout, who hate each other with a passion, while also being passionately in love with each other.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Kudos: 14





	The Stakeout

“WHAT! Why do you hate me!”

This was the first thing NYPD detective Penelope Bunce heard as she entered the bullpen. It seemed to be coming from the captain’s office. As she sat at her desk, she saw two heads, one with brown curly hair, and another with long black hair, moving wildly with aggressive arm movements.

Snow and Pitch were at it again.

+++

“WHAT! Why do you hate me!” Simon Snow fumed at the captain, who let out a sigh and plopped back down on his chair.

“Sir, If I may.” said the voice of Satan’s descendant himself, Basilton Grimm Pitch. “Personally, I feel that detective Snow would be a hindrance in the smooth sailing of the mission, and you know how it could affect the whole operation.”

That son of a bitch.

“If I may sir.” Simon interrupted, receiving an annoyed huff from Pitch. “I believe what detective Pitch was trying to express with poor word choices is that he’s a pompous prick with no teamwork skills and disregards your judgement.” “That is not what I said Snow!” Baz turned and yelled, eyes wide. “And honestly.” he continued, “No one could ever work with you, you absolute moron, sometimes I wonder how Bunce gets through the day and manages to do anything with you as a partner!”.

“I’m an amazing partner!” Simon retorted lamely.

Damn him and his inability to come up with good comebacks.

“Enough the two of you!” the Captain said sternly (Although to Simon it sounded like a cry for help. He couldn’t blame him, Baz was a lot to handle.) “You will go on this stakeout,  _ together _ . And you will bust this drug deal. Take a department mandated car and be at the location on time, and if this fails because you two couldn’t work together for five, fucking, minutes.” He looked at them both. “I will not be easy on you.”

“Yes sir!” “Message received!” Simon and Baz said at the same time, and turned on their heel and left, nudging each other in the ribs as they left the captain’s office, and Simon heard the captain let out a sigh of relief.

+++

Simon was washing his hands after using the toilet (he wasn’t an animal) when he looked at himself in the mirror. He needed a haircut. His thick brown curls were growing out, and as much as Simon would’ve totally rocked the Brian May look, it probably wouldn’t look good at work.

Oh well.

There was someone else who looked stunning in long hair. Baz. Simon dreamed of carding his fingers through it, and using it to pull him closer. He smiled. Why did he always yearn what he couldn’t have? Baz was a fever dream, someone who could only live in his imagination. Someone who didn’t hate him, and someone who loved him. Most people would say Simon should confess, he thought so too, but what was the point in confessing to someone who hated you with half his being? Simon was only pretending, but he knew Baz was genuine.

No. he could never know.

+++

Baz looked up from his paperwork as Simon walked over to his desk next to Bunce and sat down. He said something to her, and she laughed. Baz sighed, and looked back at his work. 

Snow was someone who intrigued Baz, and had a special place in his head and heart. He hadn’t realized it at first, but all it took was a “Merry Christmas.” and a small smile from him, and Baz knew he had fallen, hard.

As someone who was shitty with emotions, Baz didn’t know how to interact with Simon properly without looking like an idiot, and had ended up giving the impression that he hated him. And Baz did hate him, hated him for making him fall for someone he couldn’t have. Hated him for making him fall in love with someone who felt the opposite of love and everything that went with it for him. But despite it all, he still loved. It was like an inextinguishable flame, and Snow would never feel the same, he hated him. Baz was only pretending, but he knew Simon was genuine.

No, he could never know.

+++

Simon was in the gear room, picking the necessary tools for the stakeout. They were leaving in fifteen minutes, and he wanted to make sure they were prepared. “Hey.” said a voice he knew all too well. Baz stood behind him wearing an all black ensemble and it did things to Simon. 

He took in a deep breath. “What?” he asked, as nonchalantly and disinterested as possible. “Aren’t you excited.” Baz commented and Simon looked at him in annoyance. “I’m sorry.” he said, and then “Baz! I’m so excited to be stuck in a tiny vehicle with you for the entire night, I can’t wait!” Baz did not look impressed, but then he smirked, and stepped closer. “Are you sure you’d be able to handle being in a tiny vehicle alone with me Snow?” he said and leaned in. Simon leaned back against the table and gulped.

He would’ve been fine with Baz being so close to him, but in different circumstances.

Like his Imagination.

“Cat got your tongue?” Baz asked, and smiled, saccharine sweet.

Simon scoffed. “I was actually wondering if this was what your hypothetical significant other would see. How unfortunate for them.” he said sweetly.

Hey, that comeback was actually quite good!

Baz scowled and placed his arms on the table, on either side of Simon. “Tell me.” he said. “Would you think this was an unfortunate face to see Snow?” All he had to do was lean in a little more, and their lips would touch. Simon’s face heated up. He pushed Baz away with his hand and grabbed the gear bag. “We leave in five.” he said, and walked out, leaving behind an unsatisfied and embarrassed Baz.

+++

They’d arrived at their location twenty minutes ago, and things were going… smoothly. There was still no sign of their perp and both Simon and Baz were becoming very irritable and agitated.

“Chew louder why don’t you?” Baz sneered at Simon, who was munching on a protein bar. Simon turned to Baz, took a big bite of his protein bar, and chewed it slowly with his mouth open, making sure his chewing was extremely loud.

That little shit.

Baz tightened his grip on the binoculars he was using to look out for their perp, Jeffrey Carlson. He was a drug dealer and had become somewhat of a drug lord on these streets, and after months of tracking they were finally able to track him down, which was why Baz had the fortunate misfortune of being stuck in a car with Simon in the night, in front of one of those dingy New York apartment complexes, waiting to apprehend the criminal.

If only he could concentrate.

He couldn’t stop thinking about what happened in the gear room, and what almost would have happened. He let out a sigh and put down his binoculars.

“Hey.”, Snow’s voice cut through his reverie. “Yes Snow?” Baz said. “Why do you hate me? Or dislike me at least?” His eyes widened and he turned to Simon, who looked like he was regretting his question. “You know what,” Simon began, “Forget it, it was a stupid ques-” ‘I don’t hate you.” Baz interrupted, voice small. “It’s,” he took in a deep breath. “It’s complicated.” “So you don’t hate me?” Simon said, and Baz swore he could hear a little smugness in his voice. “Nope.” Baz confirmed, “Quite the opposite actually.” he said, with a nervous laugh. “So..you love me?” Simon said. 

What? There was definitely smugness in his tone now.

“Umm, Well.” Baz began. “I don’t hate you either.” Simon said suddenly. “It’s quite the opposite actually.” he said, and wiggled his eyebrows. Baz tried to look unimpressed, but couldn’t hide his endearment. “So, does that mean…” he leaned in closer, and placed a finger on Simon’s lips. “You wouldn’t mind if I-” They heard a dull thud from outside. “Someone fell from the first floor window onto the pavement.” said Simon, eyes wide and alert. They both turned and faced each other. “Carlson.” they said in unison, and got out of the car, guns and gear all at the ready.

Simon was eclectic. Baz didn’t hate him! He would’ve laughed out loud and jumped around if they weren’t chasing a wanted criminal, who seemed to be getting away. “I’ll go left you go right! We’ll corner him!” Baz yelled and Simon held his hand ups in an ‘ok’ sign.

Simon was still running in the direction the perp did. He finally reached an alley. It was empty. Simon did a full three-sixty, just to make sure. He turned around to leave, when a hand wrapped around his neck from behind and pulled him towards it. “Don’t. Move” the voice said. His breath was musky and slightly rancid. “Let me go!” Simon struggled, and he felt a knife placed under his chin.

Shit. Where was Baz?

Baz ran into an alley, hoping the perp hadn’t escaped. The perp and Simon were both there, which would have been great if he wasn’t holding a knife to Simon’s neck. 

“Come any closer and I’ll kill him!” yelled Carlson, eyes bloodshot and wild. Baz looked at Simon, who looked extremely frightened even though it was obvious he was trying to look brave.

“Let him go and nobody will have to get hurt.” Baz said, as calm as possible, only for the perp to tighten his grip around Simon. Simon on the other hand, seemed to try and signal something to Baz with his eyes. He looked in the direction he was pointing at. A metal pipe, right on top of the trashcan Snow and the perp were standing next to. 

Baz took in a deep breath.

“I’m dropping my gun! Don’t do anything to harm him!” He gently placed down his gun and stepped closer. He was close, but not close enough. “Don’t move!” yelled Carlson, “Or your friend loses his neck!” Simon winced and Baz gulped.

So many things could go wrong.

“Carlson,” he began,”What made you want to become a..drug lord?” He had no idea where he was going with this. Simon gave him a classic what the fuck face, and the perp just stared at him blankly.

Well, carpe momentum.

Baz reached for the metal pipe, as fast as he could. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing!” screamed Carlson, but before he could react, Baz swung the pipe as hard as he could, and hit him on the head, knocking him out. Simon quickly grasped the knife from Carlson’s lifeless hand before it could accidentally damage him, and stumbled forward before regaining his balance.

The adrenaline was still coursing through Baz’s veins, and before he knew it he was in front of Simon, pushing him back against the alley wall. “I’m going to kiss you now.” he said, and Simon barely had time to nod his head before Baz’s lips came crashing down on his. It was electric and invigorating, and felt like a thousand jolts of current. Simon’s hands reached up and curled around Baz’s neck, and Baz placed his in Simon’s hair, caressing it as they kissed. Simon tilted his head in an attempt to deepen the kiss, and Baz let him. Baz felt like he was flying, fast and high with no restraint, and he relished it all, the feeling of Snow’s mouth on his and the feel of his hair that felt like starlight on his fingertips.

All too soon the kiss was broken by Simon. “We should probably take him into custody before he wakes up again.” he said, and grinned, causing Baz to smile as well.

“Come on Snow.” he said, as he reached down to pick up Carlson. “The sooner we get home the better.” “Why?” Simon asked, smiling

He knew why.

Baz raised an eyebrow at him. “Let’s get going shall we?” he said, with a crooked smile, and off they went, back to the precinct, and then to Baz’s apartment, and the rest, was history.

+++

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I see you've reached the end. Thank you for reading and I hoped you enjoyed! please let me know what you thought! I would love to hear your feedback!


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